Fighting Stage 4

Fighting stage 4 prostate cancer

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I’m a lawyer who plays the tuba, tries to exercise and be a good Dad, husband and person.
  • Blue Monday

    Blue Monday

    I keep seeing posts about “Blue Monday”.

    Personally, I am feeling pretty pumped about what 2026 may bring.

    Soon I will be spending more time behind a desk, emerging blinking back into the professional world and taking on some new challenges. No doubt there will be lows and unwanted moments this year, but there will also be exciting, fun and deeply satisfying ones too.

    Recently I had the chance to spend a week back in the Cayman Islands, a place I was lucky enough to call home for eight years. It will always be special to us, and I love maintaining both a personal and professional connection there.

    Whenever I am in Cayman, I try to spot a Blue Iguana, most likely found at the Botanical Gardens.

    Native to Grand Cayman, the Blues were unprepared for the influx of invasive species, most notably Green Iguanas. I used to enjoy seeing the Greens everywhere, perched along canals, dotted across golf courses, or waddling across roads causing uniquely Cayman traffic jams.

    But the Greens were more aggressive. More dominant. Over time, they pushed the Blues to the brink of extinction.

    Eventually, the government stepped in and introduced a culling programme that removed over a million (!) Green Iguanas.

    That intervention created space, not just for the Blues to mount a comeback, but also for native species like the Cayman Parrot to return.

    Culling is controversial. So is conventional cancer treatment.

    But sometimes decisive action is needed to reset an ecosystem and create the conditions for recovery. There can be unintended consequences, but some of those consequences can be positive.

    The Blues could perhaps do more to help themselves, but evolution takes time.

    Thankfully, it is not too late. I managed to see several roaming freely, and I do prefer the Blues to the Greens.

    The Greens have not gone away entirely. I spotted a few youngsters waiting patiently for their moment. The culling licence has been renewed though, and hopefully the Blues can continue to thrive.

    Like the fauna in Cayman, dealing with cancer has allowed some parts of my life to flourish, and you may see more of that throughout the year.

    But the cancer is still there. Vigilance matters and the defences have to be maintained.

    I am going to keep trying to share my health adventure, any encouragement and advice is welcome. I may even share a little more about my love for Cayman. It is good to revisit happy memories, positivity is a powerful tool in my process. Maybe even the Iguanas on the sister islands.

    But for now, perhaps take some heart from the story of the Blues this Monday – if they can thrive in these interesting times, then perhaps so can we.

  • “Above Average” – Prostate cancer v Golf

    “Above Average” – Prostate cancer v Golf

    As part of my “Above Average” series, to avoid living from PSA test to PSA test, scan to scan, I have been setting myself a series of life challenges to focus on my health, in the firm belief that these will help my long term prospects.

    But Golf?

    Famously described as “a good walk ruined“, I have never been good enough to have expectations high enough to be frustrated with myself. The walking alone is probably counteracted by the pre/during-game snacks and post-round pint.

    Although it can contribute a fair few thousand steps, golf earns its place on my Above Average list for more holistic reasons. It’s social, it’s outdoors (mostly…). But, quite importantly, it’s a way to blend wellness with business development, something I need to explore as I start back to work. Playing in sociable four-ball charity tournaments and friendly rounds means I can build genuine relationships to mitigate some of lost networking opportunities by doing less of the unhealthy networking activities I used to rely upon.

    So, to improve my meaningful social and business encounters through golf, I am going to focus on one clear goal: my handicap.

    I Almost Retired

    I actually decided to give up golf the year before last, but was persuaded for one last hurrah with my friend at his private club. It was a glorious sunny summer afternoon and because it was my last hurrah I relaxed and hit some lovely shots and … decided not to give up after all. In fairness, I can hit some decent drives and flop shots, sometimes the perfect length. Just need to work on being the right direction now…s

    https://portal.trackmangolf.com/playerSo last year, deciding I needed to improve my game, I registered for the My England Golf handicap system (The Handicap Index® for Non-Club Members – £46 Per Year) which allows Non-Club members to record scores and obtain an official handicap. Have I mentioned I’m nerdy about stats?!

    I didn’t want to join a golf club because (a) membership fees generally mean you need to play a lot more golf than me to get those fees back; and (b) I have about 20 lovely courses within less than an hour of my house, and can travel to clients so why not give myself some variety?!

    Practice to Progress

    I played two rounds last year – one 18 hole and one 9 hole. Let’s just say the years rarely go to plan!

    But I do have a secret weapon – in the same building as my office is Pitch, and I persuaded work to get me a subscription (in the name of business development naturally!). We can gather over pizza and beers and play virtual rounds using Trackman. It definitely doesn’t score highly on the health front, but it does let me play through the winter, track more stats than even I strictly need, and keep working on my game.

    Luckily, a nearby driving range also has Trackman installed, and I’ve started taking my daughter there. There’s a setting where we can virtually hit “monsters,” which she loves – and I get to squeeze in some much-needed swing practice.

    How will I track Progress?

    Quite simply, through England Golf. They also report that in 2024 the average Handicap for men was 18.4.

    With only 1.5 rounds recorded on the system, my Handicap is reported as pending, but having scored 124 on the Eighteen holes and 59 on the Nine Holes I don’t think I’m getting close to that at the moment.

    For completeness my Trackman Handicap is 47.7.

    It’s a long way to the top…

    But at least there’ll be lots of steps on the way there…

  • Hyperthermia

    Hyperthermia

    It’s my last day of locoregional modulated electro-hyperthermia (150W modulated bioelectromagnetism for 90 minutes to the pelvis) today.

    Quite the mouthful.

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  • “Above average” – Prostate Cancer v Squash

    “Above average” – Prostate Cancer v Squash

    My brother and I taught ourselves squash during university holidays — a slightly healthier form of brotherly bonding than our usual diet of computer games and Games Workshop. Now, it’s in my plan to get “Above Average” to help me fight my stage 4 Prostate Cancer.

    Squash was about as “cool” as Games Workshop in those days (are either any cooler these days?), which meant the courts at our local leisure centre were both cheap and usually available (whatever the weather, occasionally requiring several layers, or a bucket). We’d easily battle for more than the 45 minutes giving up only if they finally turned out the lights. Soaked and exhausted, we’d often pick up a bag of chips on the way home.

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  • “Above average” – Prostate Cancer v Running

    “Above average” – Prostate Cancer v Running

    As part of my series to use exercise to control my prostate cancer (Can I get “above average” with Prostate Cancer?) one of my key goals is to improve my running.

    I’ve never had a great relationship with running. I did the Paris Marathon in 2011 in an attempt to see if I could get myself to like it. I enjoyed one 10km training run home from my then Girlfriend’s (now wife) flat to my flat in London after couple of beers and a trip to the cinema where we enjoyed some caramel popcorn. Thus began a series of over-carb-loading and under training.

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  • “Above Average” – Prostate Cancer v Resistance training

    “Above Average” – Prostate Cancer v Resistance training

    This is the big one – the core goal. Everything else is icing on the cake, or trying to get fun at the same time as fitness.

    Long-term hormone therapy means my muscles will waste away, and I’ll gain fat even more easily than before (and that was already remarkably easy for me).

    How I could look after years of hormone therapy.

    Okay, there’s a bit of vanity here. I want my kids to think of me as strong, I want to still be able to throw them around and play for as long as possible.

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  • “Above average” – Prostate Cancer v Cycling

    “Above average” – Prostate Cancer v Cycling

    I love cycling, there is a sense of freedom and childlike exhilaration from riding your bike, although I am a real coward on the downhills. So cycling was always going to be part of my fitness arsenal in the fight against cancer.

    Let me start first though, with a debunking. After being diagnosed with my Stage 4, incurable, aggressive prostate cancer, we decided to get various things checked, including our moles. During my mole mapping, I was confidently told that I had got prostate cancer because I was a cyclist.

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  • Can I get “above average” with Prostate Cancer?

    Can I get “above average” with Prostate Cancer?

    I finished radiotherapy this week.

    In January 2025, I was diagnosed with advanced, aggressive prostate cancer.

    Stage 4. At 44.

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  • Screening for Prostate Cancer

    Screening for Prostate Cancer

    I turned 45 yesterday.

    Thanks for all the kind wishes, I had a lovely weekend with the family. Even used it as an excuse to get my wife to do a ParkRun with me … though she then tried to make me run negative splits.

    My 45th lap around the Sun has given me a few things to reflect on.

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  • The Tour de 4

    The Tour de 4

    We made it! Now what…?

    It’s taken me a while to gather my thoughts on this.

    First, we made it! 56 miles of cycling (plus a little to/from the event). Through varied Scottish weather, some stunning scenery, one heck of a hill … and a few traffic lights. Surrounded by amazing people. The support was so brilliant (the Glaswegians deserve a better rep!), the event inspirational. Getting people out exercising will have a major effect on so much treatment.

    Amazingly the Tour de 4 hit £2m (twice Sir Chris Hoy’s goal). I have been personally been sponsored over £40k for Prostate Cancer UK. I know that goes deeper than a bike ride and I am so grateful for the support you have all given. It should help fund life changing research.

    The Tour de 4 gave me a goal and purpose for the year, something that felt within my control.

    But what now?

    Doing a 56 mile bike ride, and training, makes me feel guilty. Why am I not working? I get the worst Sunday night blues of my career at the moment. Why can I not work?

    I am incredibly grateful that my firm, my clients and my colleagues have allowed me this time to focus on my health. I believe it has made a difference on so many levels.

    But it’s also sensible. I’ve confused appointments, had weeks where I couldn’t fit everything necessary in and several trips to A&E including 3 days in hospital a couple of weeks ago for pneumonia. I would have been letting people down.

    The mind is willing, the body is not quite there. But we’re getting closer. Soon come.

    I’m now preparing for four weeks of daily radiotherapy to hit the remaining disease in my prostate and seminal vesicles. It’s going to be intense, but for the first time my oncologist has used the word CURATIVE. That’s huge. It’s tempered with warnings of risk. But that word is a lifetime away from the language in January.

    Being honest, completing the Tour de 4 left me feeling a bit flat. That may sound weird but I sort of feared that would be the case. I’ve spent my life assuming I will achieve my goals so every step of the way leads to “what now?”

    Cure cancer is the goal. But that’s out of my hands.

    What IS in my hands?

    I have a place for the London Marathon with Prostate Cancer Uk, that is a lifelong goal, and I need to switch focus to that.

    But more immediately? I’m jumping in the swimming pool tomorrow. I signed up for a season end triathlon on 21 September. If I’m allowed to swim during radiotherapy I’ll be jumping back into Dorney Lake and starting my first triathlon in three years.

    I intend to finish it.

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